How To Talk To Strangers

how to talk to strangersAt some point your warm market will dry up and you will need to start speaking with strangers about your business. However, for some the idea of speaking with a stranger scares the living daylights out of them.

At first I found this hard to do and I think this is mainly because of my childhood. From a young age, I was told not to speak to strangers and I think this is one of the reasons a lot of individuals have trouble dealing with approaching someone they may not know.

However, if you want to become successful in your business you will have to get over yourself and speak with people you don’t know. Don’t think of them as strangers, think of them of friends you haven’t met yet.

The UK has a population of 62 million and most of us only have an average of 200 friends. That leaves a lot of strangers to get to know. So where do you meet these new friends.

You can meet new people anywhere, leave your house and there are new people everywhere. Below is a list of places.

  • Marketplace
  • Petrol Station (Gas Station)
  • School Run
  • Gym
  • Car Wash
  • Parks

But what do you say to these people. This is where consultants start facing problems. They say the wrong things.

When I say the wrong things, I mean most consultants TELL instead of ASK. A stranger or “new friend” is not interested in you or your business. They are only interested in themselves. It’s harsh to say but it’s the truth.

So, how do we overcome this? We ASK them about their favourite subject. THEMSELVES.

Get to know them first and you will know if they are ready for the fantastic opportunity we know as Arbonne.

So how do we start up a conversation with a “new Friend” and what do we ask?

There are two types of questions people ask when starting a conversation.

  1. Open questions
  2. Closed questions

Open questions start with one of these 6 words.

  1. How
  2. Where
  3. When
  4. What
  5. Why
  6. Who

Closed questions start with

  1. Do you
  2. Does Your
  3. Can I
  4. Have you
  5. Will You
  6. Has your

As Arbonne consultants, we only ever want to START a conversation with an open question.

Example 1 CLOSED QUESTIONS

You are waiting to pick your kids up from school. A mother next to you smiles.

YOU: “Has your child been in this school long?”

Mother: “NO!”

Example 2 OPEN QUESTIONS

YOU: “This is a great school, how long has your child been attending?”

Mother: “Six months, we recently moved into the area and this was the best choice”

YOU: “You are absolutely right; this is my child’s second year, where were you living before?”

As you can see, the first question has nowhere to go. Think of a conversation as a tennis match, you want to start the chat with a nice serve that the other player can hit back. A closed question is like an ACE, or a very hard ball to return.

Example 3 OPEN QUESTIONS

You take your dog for a walk in your local park. Another dog plays with your little ‘lucky’. You speak with the other dog owner.

YOU: “This Park is so peaceful this time of day, how long have you been walking here?”

PERSON: “Only three weeks, I normally go to the big park at the end of the high street. Do you know it” (They have finished with a closed question)

YOU: “Yes I do, I prefer this one because it’s not so busy, and why did you decide to change?”

PERSON: “Too many big dogs and this one is closer to my Mum’s house.”

YOU: “I live just over the road, how long has she lived in the area?”

Example 4 CLOSED QUESTIONS

YOU: “Do you bring your dog here a lot?

PERSON: “NO!”

These are just a couple of examples on how to START a conversation. One thing I like to do is practice the conversations in my head. If I am driving, or running I just make up conversations.

Once you build rapport with that person you can start to ask deeper questions. Find out why the mother has moved into the area or how the dog owner would love to be able to earn a little bit more to help his mother move closer to him.

We have to remember that we are here to help as many people as possible, but we can only do that by asking the right questions.

What happens if the person you ask the questions doesn’t want to talk to you. That’s fine, move on. Pick up your kids or carry on walking the dog.

This is my last example and actually happened to me last month

I was in the gym and while changing I heard one guy say to another.

GUY 1: “I may have to cancel my gym membership because I just can’t afford it anymore”

GUY 2: “Tell me about it, the price has gone up again”

ME: “Excuse me fellas, I have just joined this gym, how often do they raise the fee?”

GUY 2: “Every six months”

ME: “WOW, that’s a little harsh, how long have you both been members here?”

GUY 2: “2 Years”

GUY 1: “9 Months”

ME: “If the price is so high, why do you keep coming back?”

GUY 2: “We both work close by, so it’s convenient”

ME: “Ditto, what do you do?”

GUY 1: “We work for a newspaper”

(notice how they didn’t answer the question. I didn’t ask where do you work, most people will do this when ask what do you do. Sometimes when asked where do you work, they will say I’m an accountant)

GUY 2: “What do you do?”

ME: “I help people set up their own part-time home-based businesses, so that they can earn extra cash for things like gym membership”

GUY 1: “Ha ha, That’s cool. But what do you mean by home-based businesses?”

I looked at my watch.

ME: “Listen, my personal trainer is waiting for me and he makes me work even harder when I’m late, so let me ask you, if you were looking to earn extra cash, how much money would you have to make per month on a part time basis to make it worth your while?”

GUY 2: “£4000”

GUY 1: “Yeah, 4 grand sounds good.”

ME: “OK, how many hours per week would you be willing to dedicate to earning this 4 grand?”

GUY 1: “I’m really busy so no more than an hour a day”

GUY 2: “May be 2 tops.”

ME: “Right, so you are talking about 10 hours a week and how many months would you give this to be able to develop that type of income?”

GUY 2: “I don’t know, 6 months?”

ME: “Fantastic, So how interested would you be if I show you how you could make an extra £4000 a month working no more than 10 hours per week over the course of the 6 months?

GUYS: VERY

ME: Great, so give me your numbers and I will call you after my training session and show you everything you need to know about this business.

I hope these examples help you and your business. Please feel free to comment and ask me any questions in the boxes below.

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